Wufei & the Injustice of the Serta Sheep
by Waltz195
Summary: Chang Wufei, former pilot of the Nataku Gundam, feels restlessness in his warrior's soul and yearns to see battle once more. He just might get his wish...
1. Present Injustice

DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, and Bandai. Mattresses and sheep are property of the Serta® company.  
Important Note: Hiho! I'm writing this while currently drunk on SOBE® Energy Elixir and watching commercials. I am not in my right mind at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep..._(beep)_

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_**Wufei & the Injustice of the Serta Sheep**  
By Waltz195_

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It was a day like any other at the Earth Sphere Unified Nation's Preventers Headquarters.

Preventer Wind was busily typing up reports for the conference on the Mars Terraforming Project. Preventer Fire was currently instructing trainee agents in the military drill hall. Preventer Water was in the infirmary, checking the stock of medical supplies. And Preventer Chang, former Gundam pilot, was busy doing what he always did on days like this.

Stuck in the Public Relations office, redirecting calls to their respective lines. In other words, being a switchboard operator.

"INJUSTICE!" The angry shout echoed in the room, which was empty, save for himself.

"Why am I, Chang Wufei, descendent of the honorable Dragon Clan, assigned to such a lowly position!" he growled, to no one in particular. "This is dishonorable! Being an operator is weak! I am not weak!"

BRRRRING!

"Hello, Preventers Headquarters, how may I redirect your call?" Wufei gritted out, trying to keep his loathsome tone in check.

"Wufei?"

The irate former Gundam pilot was momentarily disconcerted. "Who wants to know?"

"AHHAHAHAHAHA! I can't believe it! The almighty Chang Wufei is stuck on operator duty! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Wufei recognized the voice on the line. "Maxwell..." he growled.

"Shinigami at your service, Justice-Boy." Wufei would bet his katana that the braided baka was grinning over the phone.

"What do you want, baka?" he asked impatiently. "I have calls to redirect. I don't have time for your nonsense."

"Oh, right." Wufei could still hear him chuckling. "I need to speak with Sally. Got those med stats she wanted."

What Wufei was about to say next, which he only did because it was required, Duo would never let him live down.

"Your call will be redirected shortly." Wufei cringed. "Thank you and have a nice day."

A second later, the sound of uproarous laughter could be heard, as Wufei redirected the lines, before slamming down the offending handset.

"That braided baka. What does he know? Just because there are no missions currently available...doesn't mean I have to stay in this dishonorable situation." Wufei grumbled, still stingy from that blow to his pride.

He looked over at the wall clock and noticed he was due for a break.

"_Anything to get out of that insufferable office..._" he thought as he made his way to the vending machine outside the hall.

As he surveyed the contents of the machine, he wondered if he could possibly get away with starting a war. Not a big war. Something small. A tiny revolution wouldn't hurt. Just so he'd be back on active duty again. This time of peace, though decidedly pleasant, was boring him. His warrior's blood was longing to see some action.

Sighing heavily, Wufei opted to buy a "power bar". As he was purchasing his snack, some rather interesting events were starting to unfold outside.

A large multitude of wool clad individuals were gingerly making their way to the office entrance, as if uncertain of their actions. They milled about restlessly, gazing at their leader with slight anxiety.

"Earl, are you sure about this?" One of the masses questioned, uncertainty reflected in his round, blue eyes.

"Of course, I'm sure!" The one named Earl answered, filled with determination. "We will never be taken seriously, unless we take this matter all the way to the top!"

"Yeah..." A fellow advocate ventured timidly. "But will they listen to us? You know what happened last time."

Earl's mouth was set in a grim line. "I know. Those who have forsaken us will pay their dues when the time comes!"

The horde of whitewashed individuals plodded toward the building and determinely walked inside.

Meanwhile...back with Wufei...

Wufei was thoroughly engrossed with chewing his nearly inedible "power bar", when the most unusual thing he had ever seen happened.

"What in the name of Nataku!" he sputtered, as a herd of sheep (as indicated in the title) sauntered into the front office, which unfortunately was currently occupied only by himself.

One sheep in particular, who seemed to be leading the bunch, looked over in his general direction, its brown eyes narrowed and harsh. What happened next totally threw the Preventer agent off guard.

It spoke.

"You there! With the power bar. Who do we talk to to make a public complaint?"

The world spun on its axis and was submerged into darkness, as Preventer Chang Wufei unceremoniously fainted.

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Author's Notes: ...Surprise?... 


	2. Revelations of Another Injustice

DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, and Bandai. Mattresses and sheep are property of the Serta® company.  
Important Note: SOBE® is so great...

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_**Wufei & the Injustice of the Serta Sheep**  
By Waltz195_

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Wufei was having a bad dream. He must be.

There were sheep in his office...He was an operator...There were sheep in his office...He was an operator...

Just what was the expiration date on his power bar?

He hung in the mists of unconsciousness, for who knows how long, before he was awakened by a voice calling out to him.

_Wufei...Wufei...Wufei..._ "WUFEI! Wake up!"

He was snapped back to reality, only to be greeted by a pair of laughing blue eyes. He groaned.

"What do you want, onna?" Wufei grumbled, picking himself up off the floor, which he did not recall falling on.

Sally just smirked at him as she watched him dust himself off. "Are you okay? It's not like you to faint."

"I did not faint!" he argued, defending his pride. "I was...just...taking a nap...that's all."

"Uh-huh, and Duo's on a diet," Sally countered, making her way back down the hall. "Anyway, be on guard. There were reports of a strange sighting by the gate sentry earlier."

"What kind of strange sighting?" he asked, a bit apprehensive.

"Something about sheep. Probably been off in Lala-land again. I'm checking him out just in case.You never know. Hallucinations could be the sign of an illness." With that she departed, leaving him to mule over the events that had transpired before his _(ahem)_ episode.

Wufei entered his office silently and closed the door. Upon turning around, he was promptly scared to death.

(Well, not really, but you get the idea...)

"Glad to see you decided to wake up," stated the lead sheep, which, Wufei recalled, had been the one that spoke to him. He and his wool clad brethren were packed into his office. "Never though I'd see the day when a sheep was trying to _wake_ someone up, rather than put them to sleep."

It took Wufei severals seconds to pick his jaw up off the floor, and when he was coherent enough, he spoke.

"Who are you! And what in the world do you want!"

The sheep murmured amongst themselves before the leader, Earl, spoke again. "We need help."

"You and me both," Wufei mumbled, moving to sit at his desk again. "I can't believe I'm talking to a sheep."

"Look, buddy," Earl spoke up forcefully. "We came here because we've been done wrong. Our jobs have been taken from us and we need some help to right these injustices! Are you gonna help us or not?"

Wufei had been listening idly to the sheep's dialogue until he heard the word "injustice". His attention perked up immediately and he leveled an intense gaze on the sheep.

"Injustices?" he spoke hopefully. "Did you say injustices? What kind of injustices?"

Earl looked thoughtful. "Well, there was that unannounced contract termination with the Carlsons and the Greys and that lying bag of springs Forsopp. Not to mention that scumbag lawyer who wanted sixty percent of the legal earnings."

"Say no more." Wufei stood, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "I'd be glad to rectify these injustices which have been brought upon you...yes...HEHEHEHE!" he cackled sinisterly, a disturbing glint in his dark eyes.

"Earl?" A random sheep asked. "Are you sure this guy can help us?"

"Sure!" Earl assured him. "We got our support didn't we? We'll get those Serta® jerks yet..."

"Come my wronged comrades!" Wufei called sharply. "We have much to do! By the honor of Nataku, those weak cowards will be brought to justice!" And with that he marched out of the office, a group of hesitant sheep following in his wake.

"Who's Nataku?"

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Author's Notes: ...Lalalalalalala-land...; 


	3. The End? Injustice!

DISCLAIMER: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, and Bandai. Mattresses and sheep are property of the Serta® company.  
Important Note: Will it never end! oo;

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**_Wufei & the Injustice of the Serta Sheep_**_  
__By Waltz195_

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In the weeks that followed Preventer Chang's _strange_ disappearance, disturbing accounts of a flock of sheep running around major Earth cities grew, as people came home to find their mattresses, and most likely half their houses, blown to bits. A few witnesses claimed to have seen a huge mecha lurking about and wondered if there was a connection with the strange sheep sightings.

Reports of nationwide attacks on Serta© mattress factories have also increased, reaching such numbers as to concern the ESUN President, who was a Serta© mattress owner himself. Considering it a national security threat, he informed the Preventers about the situation.

"I would like you to choose your finest agents and see to this situation at once!" The president demanded, speaking via-satellite with Preventer Chief Une.

"Let me get this straight," Une asked, disbelieving what she had just heard. "_You_ want _me_ to put _Preventers_ out in the field to investigate incidents with _mattresses_?"

"Of course!" The president sighed exasperatedly. "That's what I just said. Really, Chief Une. I'd thought you more astute."

"Hn...of course."

"Now get this resolved immediately. I need my beauty sleep. Good-bye." And with that he abruptly ended the transmission.

Une stuck her tongue out at the blank screen. "Nyah! Cocky, bulb-nosed, arrogant prick..."

She turned in her chair and gazed out the window, deep in thought. "_Is he serious? We have terrorists, drug-smugglers, and rebels to worry about...and he wants me to take care of matresses! Crazy politicians..._"

Pressing the intercom button on her desk, Une informed her secretary to send in Preventers Water and Maxwell. A few minutes later a tall, blond woman and a young man with a long braid entered her office.

"You wanted to see us, chief?" Preventer Water asked.

"Yes," Une responded, motioning them to sit in front of her desk. "I've just spoken with the president. He wants us to investigate these strange _mattress_ incidents that have been occurring recently. I trust you know of this issue? "

"Sure," Duo spoke up. "It's been all over the news. They hit an apartment district not too far from mine about a week ago. " He shook his head sympathetically. "Poor suckers had all their mattresses blown to kingdom come. Kinda sad if you ask me."

"Why do we have to investigate something so..._weird_?" Sally asked irritatedly.

"The president is a fan of the brand of mattresses, I suppose. I agree with you, but I've been given my orders."

Sally didn't care for that answer and grumbled obscenities under her breath.

"But," Une interrupted. "You could use this time on the side to investigate the disappearance of Preventer Chang, seeing as how you're the only agents I can spare at the moment."

Sally looked up gratefully. She had been worried about her partner for many weeks, but without any opportunity to investigate it. Until now.

"You leave for the downtown D-disctrict immediately. That's where the last sightings occurred. Execute standard investigative procedures and contact headquarters with any new developments. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" the two agents answered simultaneously.

"Alright. Dismissed!"

A few days later...

"Hey, Sally!" Duo called to his partner casually. "You have any idea where Justice-Boy is?"

"I don't know, Duo. He just disappeared from work a few weeks ago. I haven't seen him since then."

The two agents were currently holed up in an apartment in the D-district, once again on night watch. Having confirmed a number of Serta© mattress owners in the area, they had set up surveillance equipment around their position and observed the vicinity regularly, searching for any signs of suspicious activity.

"So, when do you suppose these 'sheep' will show up?" Duo yawned, laying back in a hammock he had brought along.

"I don't know," Sally replied again, looking through the night scope. "I still think these people are just hallucinating. Probably a bug or something, like that guard at base a few weeks ago."

"Yeah. Well, let's just hope this is all a prank. I happen to own one of those mattresses and I sure as heck am not giving it up to a bunch of sweaters."

"Whatever you say, Duo."

Suddenly, a loud rumbling could be heard a short distance from their location. Before they could react, a mass of snow-white sheep rounded a corner on a run, their coats standing out like wooly beacons in the night. They approached a house not too far to their left, where they gathered on the lawn.

"Holy-!"

"Yeah! My sentiments exactly!"

The two Preventers watched in dazed wonder as the sheep seemed to converse with the occupant of the house.

"Hey, Fred! Fred!" one sheep called. "10:45! We're right on time!"

A bald and portly man leaned out an upstairs window hesitantly. "Uh...guys...We got a problem."

"Problem? What problem?" the sheep called back. "We're here, you're here. I don't see a problem."

"Well, you see...I kinda got a new mattress. "

"What?" The sheep drew back in shock. "But...how could you!"

"Sorry, it's just that it's so comfortable and I wake up rested and refreshed every morning," Fred explained. "So, I don't need you any more. Sorry, guys."

"Oh, you'll be sorry all right," Earl, the sheep who'd been talking, called ominously.

The flock of sheep massed together to one side of the lawn as the leader called out to the dark.

"Avenger!"

"Avenger?" the two observing Preventers questioned, following the sheep's movements.

Suddenly, a large object moved from the corner and revealed itself to be... a Gundam! (Surprise, surprise...)

"What the-!"

"I am the Avenger!" A voice echoed from...somewhere, sounding suspiciously familiar. "I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! Like you!" (--;)

"WUFEI!" Duo and Sally were in shock.

The familiar figure of the supposedly destroyed Gundam Nataku now stood in the light of an impossibly tall and conveniently placed streetlamp, looming over the afore mentioned house, in all its destructive glory.

"You there!" A dragon-fanged arm pointed at the house. "You dishonor the name of these sheep with your betrayal! You shall be brought to justice! By me!"

"What the heck has gotten into him!" Sally asked bewilderedly.

"I don't know," Duo replied, gathering up some weapons. "But we'd better get down there before he causes anymore damage. Man, he must have lost it...big time! He's even quoting from another anime series!"

The two Preventers quickly dashed out of the apartment and headed out of the building, to the unfolding drama in the street below.

Meanwhile...

"I don't know what you're talking about." The frightened, bald man backed away from the window.

"Move!" Wufei's voiced resonated, as Nataku's arm reached through the window and made a grab for the offending mattress. Getting a firm grip on it, he manuevered the Gundam's arm out of the house, pulling the mattress with it, despite the whining complaints of its owner.

"This evil will be rectified by my own hands!" Wufei shouted, raising the other dragon-fang towards the mattress.

"Hold it, Wu-man!" Duo shouted, running across the street. "You've really gone over the deep end!"

"Maxwell?"

"Wufei! What the hell are you doing!" Sally called from beside him.

"Sally?" Wufei asked bewilderedly. "And what are you doing with _him_! I thought _I _was your partner!"

"Well," she answered, just as irritated. "Given the fact that my _former_ partner is out cavorting with _sheep_, there wasn't much in the selection of a new one! No offense, Duo," Sally apologized to the braided man beside her.

"None taken."

"Now get away from the mattress and get your butt over here!" she ordered. "Before we have to hurt you! "

"No!" Wufei called back, childishly clinging to his prey. "Nataku and I will correct the injustices that have been brought on these sheep by the evil matttress company!"

Several of the sheep "baa"ed in agreement.

"Listen to yourself! Wait a minute-Why the heck do you have Nataku! I saw you blow it up!"

"Ahem..." Duo spoke up from beside her. "It's a plothole. "

"Oh...okay."

"You can't stop me!" Wufei called, turning his Gundam to run away from them. "I am the Avenger of Sheep!"

The gundam stomped noisily as Wufei manuevered down the street, his little sheep friends following him.

"You're not suppose to run with mattresses! Somebody could get hurt!" Earl called after him.

Sally and Duo raced after them, trying to talk sense into the deranged, justice-minded pilot. Wufei paid them no heed as his gundam moved away. Unfortunately, he did not see the gigantic speed bump in front of him until it was too late.

The foot of the great Gundam Nataku tripped across the speed bump and Wufei found himself falling forward onto the mattress...HARD. Amazingly, the mattress repelled Nataku and the great gundam bounced backwards and fell again...HARDER.

"_ WUUUUUUUFFFFEEEEEEI!_"

Wufei bolted upright and found himself sitting on the cold floor of the Preventers Headquarters infirmary.

"What the-!"

"Glad to see you're awake," Sally called from the door, a patient's chart in hand.

"Woman! What happened? Where are the sheep? Where's Nataku!"

Sally frowned slightly. "Sheep? Nataku? How hard did you hit your head when you fainted?"

"I did not faint! Wait-what are you talking about? "

"Well," she began, walking over to him and taking his pulse. "You were on operator duty and I suppose you went to the vending machine to get a snack. Why, I don't know, since everyone knows all the snacks in there are over a year expired. The power bar you were eating had tainted grains and the toxicity was too much for your body. You fainted and that's how I found you. Don't worry, though. We pumped your stomach, so you didn't get much food poisoning," she finished with a smile.

"So...there were no sheep?" Wufei asked disappointedly. "No injustices to make right? It was all a dream?"

Sally glanced at him, amused by his bewildered expression. "I think your little episode disoriented you a bit. Now, why don't you lie down and try to relax?" She coaxed him back onto the bed.

"There. Comfortable?" She picked up her chart and walked to the door. "What a luxury for you, the mattress is new. Just shipped in from the Serta© factory. Enjoy!"

As she walked out, she did not see Wufei fall out of the bed behind her. WHAM!

"INJUSTICE!"

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Sally: That was...new...  
W195: I know.  
Duo: That was weird...  
W195: I know.  
Wufei: That was STUPID! INJUSTICE!  
W195: I know. How it even lived to see Chapter 3 is beyond me.  
Wufei: I am never letting you near a bottle of SOBE® again, onna. The results are catastrophic:  
W195: I apologize to the disturbed readers out there. I have no idea where this came from. I actually like Serta© mattresses and sheep. And I adore Wufei! _(pinches Wufei's cheek)_ 3 The overuse of cliches and downright ridiculousness even makes me cringe. _(cringe)_ I admit, it's not my best work, but it was entertaining while it lasted. Right, Wufei?  
Wufei: --  
W195: Oh well...reviews/comments/flames might as well be expected. Ja ne! 


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